As tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and the beer goggle effect - henceforth referred to simply as “beer goggles” - often involves romance (or at least the potential for such), this seems like as good a time as any to discuss this chemically induced effect, and how it can influence one’s perception.

The commonly accepted notion of beer goggles is as follows: The consumption of too much alcohol causes the alcohol consumer to perceive others - primarily those of the opposite sex - much more favorably than they would be perceived had said alcohol not been consumed by the perceiver.

Or, as county music singer Mickey Gilley once put it lyrically, “The girls all get prettier at closing time.”

But according to scientists at Manchester University in Britain, there’s so much more to it than that.

“The beer goggles effect isn’t solely dependent on how much alcohol a person consumes; there are other influencing factors at play, too,” Nathan Efron, professor of clinical optometry at the university, told the BBC.

“For example, someone with normal vision, who has consumed five pints of beer and views a person 1.5 meters away in a fairly smoky and poorly lit room, will score 55, which means they would suffer from a moderate beer goggle effect.”

Here’s the formula for determining how much of a "beer goggle effect" will come into play in any encounter where all the variables are involved. An = number of units of alcohol consumed S = smokiness of the room (graded from 0-10, where 0 clear air; 10 extremely smoky) L = luminance of ’person of interest’ (candelas per square metre; typically 1 pitch black; 150 as seen in normal room lighting) Vo = Snellen visual acuity (6/6 normal; 6/12 just meets driving standard) D = distance from ’person of interest’ (meters; 0.5 to 3 meters - It WAS British researchers who came up with this thing.)

The researchers’ formula can be used to generate a number that will tell a potential beer goggles victim how impaired his or her perception really is. A number less than 1 means no beer goggle effect. Between 1 and 50 means a person who might be normally perceived as being unattractive will be less “visually offensive,” as the researchers put it.

Totally unappealing people become suddenly attractive to a person scoring between 51 and 100 on the beer goggle scale. At 100 or higher, a person normally considered unattractive will take on supermodel status.

“That’s pretty useful,” said Ben Bantista. “But I see one problem: If I’m drunk enough to have to worry about beer goggles, I’m probably too drunk to work that formula.”

James Currell agreed the formula is a bit difficult for someone who’s consumed a few beers.

That [formula] could definitely be useful for college students,” he said, adding that his college days are long gone, but he still has memories - fuzzy though they may be - of beer goggles.

“I don’t mean useful just in the short term, either,” Currell said. “With the divorce rate over 50 percent, it would be interesting to know how many of those marriages started out as a relationship influenced by beer goggles. I bet a lot of them.”

In fact, a study cited by the scientists conducting the beer goggle research, which was funded by eye care firm Bausch & Lomb PureVision, found that 68 percent of people polled had regretted giving their phone number to someone they later realized wasn’t as attractive to them as they might’ve been when originally viewed through beer goggles.

“There is a positive way to look at it too though,” said Currell. “If you see someone through beer goggles, and you later end up with them - maybe even marrying them - because of other factors, at least you’ll know you weren’t superficial.”

That is definitely a “positive way” to look at it.

But according to Jennifer Cropper, there’s another way to look at it, too - through someone else’s eyes.

“That’s exactly why you shouldn’t go to a bar alone,” she said. “So you think someone’s cute? Ask a friend who’s more sober than you are, and take their suggestions seriously.”

Eddie Glenn